Maybe
by obsessedwithstabler
Summary: Maybe finally this time they were leaving behind those demons, those pains. Maybe it wouldn't hurt so badly to think about Joe, and maybe she'll think of how one night pushed them together. Not how one night she had nearly lost him forever. Maybe...
1. Chapter 1

Okay, The Confused One and I started this the day before Thanksgiving, and we've been working on turkey and pumpkin pie to get it done. It turned out much longer than I planned... damn plot bunnies, so I broke it in half. It starts around Frame, so Declan's a bastard and most of our boy's family is dead. Poor thing. Enjoy, and please remember to review!

Dislcaimer: Not ours!

**Warning**! Contains spoilers for Frame and some foul language. Bad Alex...

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Alex sighed as she balanced several containers of food and a pumpkin pie in her arms and attempted to knock on the door. Another Thanksgiving had come and gone, and soon it would be Christmas again. Her thoughts turned briefly to the nephew she had left just an hour ago. The one that she had given birth to what felt like just a few months ago. But now he was already almost six, and she had never felt older. She struggled with the food and reached an unsteady hand out, then pounded on the door.

He still didn't answer, and she frowned deeply. Hoping she wouldn't drop the food, she reached into her pocket and fumbled with her keys. Finally she found the right one and shoved it into the lock, then opened the door.

Darkness greeted her eyes, and she frowned. Having seen enough of his apartment, she reached over and flipped the lightswitch on. "Goren, I don't care if you want to be alone." She toed her shoes off and went to the kitchen, setting the food down on the counter.

She turned around and finally saw him sprawled on the couch, asleep. She shook her head. "Wake up, Bobby. I have food."

He didn't answer, and she frowned, stepping closer to the couch. "Come on, Goren. Company during the holidays isn't the end of the world." She knelt down beside his head and studied him. He looked almost relaxed, something that she had only caught in brief glimpses. She reached down and affectionately brushed back an unruly curl away from his forehead.

Something beside the couch caught her attention, and she frowned as she realized she was looking at a pill bottle and an empty bottle of whiskey, laying on its side. She looked at Bobby, then reached down and picked up the pill bottle. It was empty.

Terror instantly caught her in its smarmy tentacles as she reached over and roughly shook her partner's shoulder. "Goren, wake up!"

There was no response, and she reached over and touched his neck. There was a pulse, and for that she was thankful. With a shaking hand, she reached over and grabbed his phone as she continued to roughly shake him in an effort to stir him into consciousness. "Goren!"

Groggy, Bobby groaned softly and opened his eyes. He looked at Alex confused. His voice was weak. "Eames?" He was fighting to keep his eyes open.

She had the phone to her ear and was talking to the 911 operator when he said her name. Freeing one hand, she smoothed it over his forehead. "That's it, Bobby. Stay awake for me."

Bobby shook his head, trying to remember exactly what he had been doing. "What are you doing here? Who are you talking to?" He remembered getting the letter, the whiskey, and the pills. He groaned again. That had probably been a very, very bad idea.

She snapped her fingers in front of his face. "Bobby, stay with me. How many pills did you take?"

Bobby furrowed his brow, trying to remember how many he had taken. He finally groaned again and shook his head. "I...think it was...too many."

"Okay, Goren, I need you to think." She gently patted his cheek when his eyes fluttered shut. "How many pills did you take?"

Bobby frowned. He sighed. "I...think four...maybe five..."

She spoke with the operator for a few more moments, then hung up the phone and stood up. As quickly as she could, she went to the kitchen and dug around, finding what she was looking for. Then she grabbed a spoon and a large pot and went back to the living room. "Open your mouth, Goren," she growled, pouring a spoonful of the Ipecac.

Bobby looked at her confused. He tilted his head and forced himself to sit up. He stared at her. "What...is that?" His mind wasn't focusing. He couldn't think straight.

"Ipecac. Take it, or we're going to the hospital and getting your stomach pumped."

Bobby looked at her, confused. "I took that many?"

"Yes!"

With a sigh, Bobby took the Ipecac. He made a face as it hit him. After a moment, he jumped up and ran to the bathroom. He threw up violently in the toilet.

She got up and followed him, relieved. He was on his knees in front of the toilet, and she knelt down behind him, rubbing his back as he vomited.

Bobby closed his eyes. When he finally stopped throwing up, he was breathing heavily. Closing his eyes, he sighed heavily. "I'm...sorry, Alex..." He knew what he had done was stupid. Very stupid. You don't mix prescription medications and alcohol.

She shook her head, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him against her chest. "Damn it, Bobby," she whispered. "What the hell were you thinking?"

Bobby took a shaky breath. He swallowed hard. "I just...couldn't sleep. I wanted to sleep. There were only like five of them left. I took several of them, but they didn't help. So I just took the other two..."

Suddenly she was enraged. "You could have died, you stupid son of a bitch!"

Bobby frowned. Pulling away from her, he sat up, retching into the toilet again. When he was done, he sighed. "I didn't want to die!"

"You could have fooled me!"

Bobby pulled away from her. He shakily got up and moved to the sink. He grabbed a wash cloth and got it wet. He scrubbed his face with it. "It wasn't a suicide attempt, Alex. That's the only...assurance I can give you."

She stood up, grabbing his arm when he faltered. "You were drinking when you took those pills. What the hell was going through that thick skull?"

Bobby sighed. "I... told you. Sleep. Sleep was what I was thinking about." He hesitated before admitting, "I hadn't really...slept in two days." He had been plagued with nightmares. They had kept him up more than he had been able to sleep.

She laughed bitterly. "If I hadn't found you, you would have never woken up." And that thought chilled her to her very bone.

Bobby closed his eyes. "I...know it was stupid. It was very stupid." He yawned.

She shook her head, nearly in tears as she left the bathroom and grabbed the pot that rested beside the couch. Then she went back to the bathroom and urged him into his bedroom.

Bobby sighed. He didn't offer an resistance. He followed her to the bedroom and collapsed on the bed. He curled up and closed his eyes. He yawned again. He didn't know if he would get any sleep, but he figured he should try. Sensing her still beside the bed, he ventured, "What...are you doing here, Eames?"

She pulled his blankets and sheets over him. "Bringing you something to eat," she said irritably.

Bobby snorted. "I'm not hungry."

"No, you're an asshole, and a stupid one at that."

Bobby frowned. He sighed and finally turned in the bed to face her. He met her eyes. "You're right. I really am. I'm also very sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. Really."

She wasn't quite ready to let go of her anger, even though she knew he'd be fine. "Fuck you." She spun around and stalked out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

As soon as she got out into the living room again and saw the whiskey bottle, her fury peaked. Grabbing the bottle, she flung it against the wall, taking a small satisfaction as it shattered into a million tiny shards.

But the satisfaction was over fast, and she found herself standing alone in the living room, close to tears and wondering how the hell she had gotten here.

Bobby laid there, staring at the door for a moment. Hearing the bottle smash, he grimaced. He got up and moved out to the den. Seeing her staring at the wall, he swallowed hard and moved to her. "Eames..."

She didn't move. She could barely breathe as she sank down to her knees.

Horrified, Bobby moved to her. He moved to his knees with her and hugged her. He held her close, ignoring her when she fought against him a minute. He swallowed hard. "I'm...sorry. I'm sorry."

She fought against him for a few minutes, until she was simply too weak. Then she reluctantly wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tight. "I hate you," she whispered, closing her eyes. She hated him for doing this to her. She hated him for the past two years. But most of all, she hated herself for loving him.

Bobby took a sharp breath at her words. He closed his eyes. "I... I don't want you to hate me, Alex." He pulled back and met her eyes. "You're...all I have left..."

She pulled back, struggling against her tears.

He reached up and placed his hand to her cheek. "You mean everything to me, and I never meant to hurt you. Never. It was the last thing I wanted."

She pulled away from his hand. "Then why the hell did you take those fucking pills?" She grabbed his shoulder, shaking him roughly as her tears finally spilled down her cheeks. "You could have died!"

Bobby pulled her back into a hug. "But I didn't. You...saved me from my own stupidity. I'm really sorry I scared you so badly. I'm so sorry for everything I've put you through the last two years."

She hit his chest. "You fucking bastard!" She couldn't see through her own tears as she hit him again.

Bobby closed his eyes, doing nothing to stop her from pounding his chest. He knew he'd have bruises, but she needed to get it out. He deserved every bit of it.

Finally she went limp against his chest, sobbing. She couldn't do this. She just couldn't do it.

Bobby took a shaky breath. Holding her close, he rubbed her back. "I...promise I'm not going to do anything this...stupid ever again."

She finally wrapped one arm around his neck, pulling him into an impossibly tight hug. The idea of not having him in her life terrified her. She held him tighter.

Bobby took a ragged breath. He couldn't help himself. He buried his face in her hair. "Alex, you...have to know. You're the best thing that ever happened to me..."

She still felt the need to lash out. "Then how could you hurt me like that?"

Bobby shook his head. He insisted, "I swear I wasn't trying to hurt myself. I wasn't trying to hurt you. I never want to hurt you."

"Do you know... how much it would've... hurt me?" she whispered. "I would've died..."

Bobby closed his eyes. "I... I know... I know, and I'm so sorry... I never want to put you through that. There's been...too much pain, too much...death already..."

Her arms tightened around his neck. "I can't lose you."

Bobby took a shaky breath. He nodded in agreement. "And I...can't lose you. Ever. I wake up...seeing you dead...Scared out of my mind that I've lost you..."

She was quiet for several minutes. "Bobby...?"

Bobby swallowed hard. He whispered, "Please, Eames. I just... I need you to forgive me." _For tonight. For everything. For the last two years. For hurting you. For needing you to still be here_.

She shivered, finally lifting her head. Resting her forehead against his head, she sniffled and stared into his eyes.

Bobby took a ragged breath. He saw it there. Saw everything. The love, acceptance, forgiveness, patience, understanding... His breath hitched in his throat. "Oh, God, Alex..." He took her face in his hands. He whispered, "I don't deserve you."

She sniffled, brushing her lips softly against his. "Don't go," she whispered into his mouth.

Bobby closed his eyes. Tears slid down his cheeks. "I don't want to... I don't want to lose you, but this is such a bad idea..."

She shook her head. "No, it's not."

Bobby was crying now. "I love you, Alex, but I can't do this. I can't do this to you."

She grasped his shoulders and shook him. "Bobby, don't you dare do this to me."

Bobby shook his head. "I love you, but after everything I put you through... After everything I've done to you... How could you not hate me?"

"Because I don't!"

Bobby closed his eyes. "I'm just trying to understand... No one I've ever loved has stayed..."

"Except me."

Bobby nodded. "Except you. I keep... I'm terrified of losing you. I...still can't imagine you feeling the same way about me that I feel about you..."

She leaned forward and buried her face in his neck, cradling the back of his head in her small hand. What he didn't know was that she was terrified, too. She had come so close to losing him tonight. If she hadn't decided to be more stubborn than him... She shuddered and closed her eyes, pressing her face deeper into his neck.

Bobby took a ragged breath. He pulled her into his arms. Holding her close, he closed his eyes and buried his face in her hair. "I...wake up...seeing the image of you...dead... Seeing your eyes. I wake up wanting to call you, just to know you're really okay... You're everything to me. You're my rock, my heart..."

She held him tighter, a few of her warm teardrops hitting his neck. "I can't lose you, Bobby..."

Bobby kissed her hair. He whispered, "I can't lose you either. I thought...I would for sure if I told you..."

She shook her head, grasping his shirt in her fingers.

Bobby closed his eyes. He rubbed her back. "After what Declan said and finding out about Brady..." He shook his head. He hadn't thought anyone could love him.

"Who do you trust more, Bobby? Them or me?"

Bobby swallowed hard, searching her eyes. "I don't even have to think about that. You. Always you."

She kissed his forehead. "Then believe me. I love you."

Bobby closed his eyes. He nodded weakly. "I'm...trying. Really, I am."

"Try harder. You're stuck with me."

Bobby smiled. He shook his head. "Not stuck. I've never felt stuck with you."

She hugged him tighter, breathing him in deeply.

Bobby sighed softly. "About... I got a letter...from Declan. It... I really have barely slept since."

She thought for a few minutes. Fucking bastard... Nuzzling his neck with her nose, she whispered, "I think I can make you sleep..."

Bobby raised his eyebrows. "Oh yeah? And how do you plan to do that."

She ran her hand under his shirt and over his back, pressing him closer to her.

Bobby's eyes fluttered close. He murmured her name and kissed her.

When she felt his lips against her head, she turned and caught his mouth in a sweet, innocent kiss. On his lips she could vaguely taste the acrid remnants, and she pulled away and rested her forehead against his.

Bobby sighed softly. "You... You being here...helps. You...calm me. You're my rock, my everything."

She slipped her arms around his neck and studied his features. "Don't ever do that again."

Bobby swallowed hard. He nodded. "I promise. I really am sorry. I wasn't thinking about what I was doing. I just wanted to sleep."

She caught his cheek in her hand. "Then you should have called me."

Bobby nodded again. He met her eyes. "I promise. I'll call next time. I just... I didn't want to ruin your holiday with me and my...demons."

She shook her head. "You're not going to call next time." She kissed his forehead softly. "Just reach out."

Bobby smiled in spite of himself. "Then I'll never have problems sleeping again."

She slowly stood up, then offered him her hand. "Come on."

Bobby swallowed hard, looking up at her. He took her hand, letting her help him up. He let her lead him into the bedroom. He looked down at her. He finally ventured, "Are you...going to stay?"

She was already peeling off her jacket when he asked that. "Yes."

Bobby smiled just a little. When she was with him, he didn't have to worry so much. He finally crawled into the bed. He pulled the covers up and sighed.

She made sure he was comfortable in the bed before she finished undressing and climbed into the bed with him.

Bobby smiled, enjoying watching her. When she climbed into the bed with her, finally relaxed. He turned to face her. He was amazed. She was there. With him. He could barely believe it. He reached out and gently touched her cheek. "I...love you so much..."

She snuggled close to him, sighing softly. "Love you, too."

Bobby wrapped an arm around her. He held her close. Closing his eyes, he yawned again. He was asleep again in minutes, relaxed in the knowledge that she was there. She was safe, and she loved him.

TBC...

A/N: There ya go. We've finished the second half, but how soon that goes up depends on ya'll. Review, please!


	2. Merry Christmas Wherever You Are

Woops, looks like we overlooked this story... (looks sheepish) Well, this is the second half, and this is it. Hope everyone enjoys it, and please remember that this chapter is strictly FLUFF. Complete and utter FLUFF. You've been warned... Mwahahahah

Disclaimer: (checks stockings) Nope, still not ours...

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Comfortable in bed, Bobby's eyes flew open. He frowned, wondering just for a minute what had woken him up. His heart skipped a beat, and he smiled just a little when he heard the soft crying of a baby. His baby. He looked at Alex and grinned. Their baby. He carefully slid out of the bed, trying not to wake her up. He moved to the baby's room and carefully scooped her up. He held her close. "Hi, baby. What is it? What's wrong?"

She squirmed and continued to cry, waving her tiny fists in the air.

Bobby nodded. "Okay. Okay." He checked her diaper. "You're not wet. Let's go try one of those new bottles Mommy got ready for us..." He walked with her down the hall and to the kitchen. He opened the fridge and smiled when he saw one of the bottles. "Here we are..." He looked down at her and smiled. He sat down at the table and carefully started to feed her from the bottle. He grinned widely as she started to eat noisily. It was the most amazing thing he had ever been able to do, feed his daughter.

Alex came out of the bedroom a few minutes later, yawning and stretching. When she saw Bobby and their little girl at the table, she grinned and went over to them, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Good morning, baby," she whispered, kissing his neck.

Bobby grinned. He looked up at her. "Morning." He kissed her softly. He looked down at their daughter. "This...is amazing. I love doing this." He wanted to do it all the time.

She laughed. "Good. You can get up at two and feed her." She wandered into the kitchen. "My family is expecting us there around noon."

Bobby nodded. He looked over at her and smiled. "Along with the newest Eames and pumpkin pie."

She laughed again. "And the whipped cream."

Bobby nodded. "See, I think they care more about that than actually seeing the two of us."

"I know they do. They don't even want the kid there."

Bobby smirked. "We could always just messenger the whip cream and pies over and just stay here all day. Lounge around here...just the three of us."

She snorted, pulling out the cans of pie mix. "You wish, Goren."

Bobby snickered. He shook his head. "No, you wish, Goren."

"Shut up and feed the kid before I throw this pie mix at you."

Bobby laughed softly. He nodded. "Yes, Ma'am." He looked down at their daughter again, grateful for her, grateful for Alex. A year ago, he didn't think he could sink any lower. Now. Now his heart was full. He was happy, happier than he had ever been in his life, and he had a family. He had people who loved him unconditionally.

She gave him a gentle look before she dumped the mix into a large bowl and went to the fridge for some eggs and milk.

He looked up at her and watched her. Smiling softly, he sighed. It was Thanksgiving again, and what he was really grateful for was his family. Things had changed so much in a year, and he wouldn't trade any of it.

Izzy stirred, kicking her little feet as she sucked on the rubber nipple greedily.

Bobby grinned. He loved how happy she was. "She's hungry this morning."

Alex snorted as she opened the cans of pie mix. "She's always hungry, Goren."

Bobby smiled. He looked up at her. "I know that. But this is... I'm just glad she's hungry as she usually is."

"Why wouldn't she be?" She grabbed an egg and broke it.

Bobby shrugged. "I...don't know. I mean...you're the only one who has fed her up until now..."

She laughed. "I guess so." She measured a small amount of milk and poured it into the bowl, then began mixing.

Bobby smiled, watching Izzy again. "I can't believe it's her first Thanksgiving..."

She paused in her mixing. "Yeah..."

Bobby smiled. He looked up at her and grinned. "Our first first Thanksgiving...together."

She nodded, resuming her mixing. She wasn't about to remind him that they had spent last Thanksgiving together. She really didn't want to think about it herself. She let her mind drift lazily to Christmas, when they had spent most of Christmas Eve moving him into her apartment, and the next day opening presents.

Bobby smiled, looking over at her. She had stopped working and was staring at the mix. "What are you thinking about over there? You zoned out."

She looked at him. "Our first Christmas."

Bobby's face lit up. He nodded, grinning again. "That was... That was a perfect day."

She nodded. "It was wonderful."

Bobby nodded in agreement. "Yes, it was. The best."

"Next year will be better."

Bobby looked down at Izzy again, thinking about it. He was grinning now. "You're right. It will be better..."

"She'll be walking, so we'll have to be careful with the tree."

Bobby nodded. "She'll also be talking, and the presents..." He couldn't wait to buy her presents from Santa. He wanted to fill a room with them.

"I know kids, Bobby. We could just get her a few boxes and she'll be thrilled."

Bobby looked horrified. "I know you're right, but I'm not getting her a bunch of boxes. She's getting toys."

She snorted, pouring the mix into a pie crust. "I better be getting toys, too."

Bobby smirked. He shook his head. "Trust me, baby. you're getting lots of toys. I wouldn't forget you."

"They better be shiny toys, too."

Bobby snickered. "Maybe. You'll have to wait for Christmas and find out." He really had already gotten her some of her gifts.

"I don't want to wait," she muttered, pouting prettily.

Bobby laughed again. He shook his head. "You'll have to and be good or Santa might not bring you anything."

She gave him a look and shook her head.

Bobby smiled. "Oh come on. It was a joke."

"No, really?" she asked sarcastically as she put the first pie in the oven.

Bobby snickered. He shook his head and looked down at Izzy. She was pulling away from the bottle. He smiled. "Are we done now?" He put the bottle down and carefully placed her over his shoulder. He gently began patting her back. He grinned widely when she burped a few moments later.

Izzy yawned and rested her head on his shoulder, sighing softly.

Bobby kissed the top of her head. He had never loved anyone as much as he loved her and Alex. It scared him a little. He couldn't get enough of them.

Alex closed the oven, then turned and looked at her small family. Bobby was studying the baby with complete adoration and love, and she felt her own heart swell. She had never once thought that they would actually get this far, but here they were. Married with a perfect baby girl.

Bobby was cradling her in his arms now. Izzy was drifting off to sleep. He sighed happily. "I...never thought my life could get this good."

She smiled at him. "Just wait until she learns to talk."

Bobby smirked. He kissed her forehead. "I can't wait." He looked up at Alex. "She's going to have your wit."

She pretended to look afraid. "I hope not."

Bobby smirked. He met her eyes. "I hope she does."

"And I hope she has your smile."

Bobby blushed just a little. He smiled. "Maybe..." She definitely had his hair and eyes.

She started on another pie, all the while occasionally glancing over at her husband and child.

Bobby happily rocked Izzy until she was asleep. He loved that his baby felt safe enough to sleep in his arms.

Alex went over to the table once the pie was in the oven. She sat down beside her husband, leaning over to kiss his cheek.

Bobby smiled. He met her eyes. "I love you." He leaned over and caught her lips in a quick kiss.

"Love you, too," she murmured against his lips.

Bobby reached up and stroked her cheek. He could never tell her how much she had done for him. He had never sunk as low as he had that day one year ago. "You and Izzy are the best thing that ever happened to me."

She smiled, turning her head to kiss his fingertips. "I've never been happier."

Bobby grinned softly now. "Neither have I. And that is all you...and Izzy."

She leaned into his hand and sighed softly, closing her eyes in contentment.

Bobby smiled just a little. "I...never could have imagined this last year..."

Her eyes fluttered open. "But now here we are."

Bobby smiled softly. He nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, we are, and I can't imagine anything else."

"Neither can I, baby."

Bobby kissed her again. "You have no idea how grateful I am that you showed up that day..."

"You don't know, either." She reached up and grasped his hand tightly. He would never know how terrified she was of losing him forever.

Bobby's eyes fluttered closed. "I'm sorry, Alex. I...know I scared the hell out of you that day."

She squeezed his hand tighter.

Bobby closed his eyes. "I was just... I wasn't thinking that day. I was...depressed...and so tired..."

"You should have called me... I would've come."

Bobby closed his eyes. He nodded. "I...know, but somewhere in my...warped brain, I was trying to...protect you."

"From what? Bobby, if you had died..." She shuddered, shaking her head. She couldn't even fathom the idea.

Bobby swallowed hard. He nodded. "I...know. I know. I thought I had it...under control. I was just... I would get some sleep and be okay."

She sat there for a few moments in silent, then got up to check on the pie.

Bobby swallowed hard. Getting up, Bobby held the baby close. He moved to her and kissed her cheek. "If I could take it back, make it better for you, I would." He slipped from the room with the baby. Taking her to the nursery, he started looking for what she should wear that day. It was a special day, and he wanted her to look special.

Alex came in a few minutes later, her eyes red. "I'm sorry, Bobby," she murmured. "But... it still hurts."

Bobby was still holding Izzy. He looked over at her. His heart broke, seeing that he had made her cry. "Alex..." He moved to her and pulled her into a hug. "I...know, and I'm sorry. I'm really...really sorry."

She buried her face in his shoulder, shuddering. "I know... but it hurts..." What hurt her most was that he felt like he couldn't come to her.

Bobby rubbed her back. He closed his eyes. "I know it does, and if I could change it...I would. You have to know that. I get it now, I do, but then... I was scared, Alex. I was hurting, exhausted, and scared."

"I don't ever want you to feel like you can't come to me."

Bobby kissed the top of her head. "I know I can. I knew it then."

"Then why didn't you?"

Bobby closed his eyes. "Because I...told you. I was scared, and I knew I had dragged you through enough..."

She shook her head, but didn't say anything else as she held him tightly. A year ago, she hadn't ever thought they would be together like this, let alone married and pregnant. Her arms tightened around him as she rested her cheek against his shoulder.

Bobby took a shaky breath. "And I know it was wrong. I know it was stupid, but that's...that's what I was thinking. I... You have to understand that..."

But she couldn't. And she didn't dare tell him that. Pulling away, she murmured, "We should go when the pie is done."

Bobby swallowed hard. He pulled back and met her eyes. He knew she didn't understand. He nodded in agreement, "Yeah." He smiled and gave her another kiss. "I was trying to decide what to dress Izzy in."

She shook her head. "All she has are onesies, Bobby."

Bobby nodded. "I know. That doesn't mean she can't wear her best onesie."

She rolled her eyes and leaned over to kiss their daughter's soft head.

Bobby smiled at this. He met Alex's eyes when she lifted her head again. "It's her first Thanksgiving." He wanted all of her holidays to be better than his.

She nodded. "I know it is."

Bobby swallowed hard. "So I want it to be perfect."

"Of course you do."

Bobby gave her a small smile. "I can't help it..."

"I know you can't." She caressed the baby's forehead with her thumb.

Grinning, Bobby kissed the top of Izzy's head. "So which one should she wear?"

She shook her head. "I really don't think she cares, Goren."

Bobby frowned, looking up at her. "But I care. I want her to look her best."

She turned around and walked out of the room, shaking her head to herself.

Bobby sighed softly. He went back to choosing an outfit for her.

Alex wandered back into the living room, studying the many pictures that adorned the wall. Something that she had discovered about Bobby was that he loved to take pictures, especially of her and the baby. The few pictures he had of him and his family he had were kept in a shoebox somewhere in their closet. He constantly told her that she and the baby were his family, at least the only family that mattered to him.

On one side of the wall were the pictures that he had taken throughout her pregnancy, from the day they had found out they were pregnant all the way to a few hours after she had given birth to Izzy. Sometimes she swore that the camera was an extension of him.

She wandered through the living room, studying the pictures of holidays and birthdays, family dinners and anniversaries. In the year they had been together, he had taken more pictures than Joe had of them in the seven years they were together. Her mind flickered back to her own little memento box, filled with pictures and movie stubs, love letters and one dusty rose. Her eyes grew moist.

Joe had never been one for taking pictures, or even being in them. The best one she had of him was of a Saint Patrick's Day parade, from years and years ago. Back when she was younger and thought he had hung the moon. A tear slipped down her cheek.

But fairytales don't always have a happy ending, as she discovered one cold night. She had never thought that she would be able to get over the untimely death of her young husband.

But a year later, she had met Bobby. He was completely the opposite of Joe, with dark eyes and a quiet personality. And through the years she had done what she had once thought was impossible: she had moved on.

Bobby was grinning when he finally came out with Izzy. She had a little dress on, and the small amount of hair she had was in a bow. He was thrilled. He kissed her cheek. Seeing Alex, he grinned. "Look what I found."

She smiled, hoping he wouldn't notice her swollen eyes. "She looks like a little angel."

Studying her, he frowned again. He was worried. "Baby, you've been crying..." He reached out and stroked her cheek. "What's wrong?"

She pulled away, shaking her head. "I'm fine, Bobby."

Bobby frowned. He met her eyes. "No, you're not. Please...talk to me..."

She sighed deeply, glancing over at the pictures. "I was just... thinking..."

Bobby furrowed his brow. "Thinking about what?"

She swallowed hard. "Joe..."

Bobby's face instantly softened. He moved to her and hugged her. He kissed the top of her head. "I'm sorry, baby..." He knew it was still hard for her, and he tried really hard not to be jealous, not to think about what would have happened if Joe hadn't died.

She buried her face in his shoulder, shuddering. She couldn't help it sometimes, especially around the holidays.

Bobby closed his eyes. He held her close. He rubbed her back gently. He whispered quiet assurances. He just wanted to be there for her. He knew at least a little bit of what she was going through. He still missed his family sometimes, too. Usually around the holidays the most.

Finally she pulled her face out of his shoulder, sighing deeply. "Sorry..."

Bobby frowned, meeting her eyes. He shook his head. "You have nothing to apologize for. I...know you still miss him." He understood that more than anything.

She tucked her head under his chin. "I do," she finally admitted.

Holding her close, Bobby closed his eyes. He nodded. "And there's nothing wrong with that."

Her hands moved up and down his back as she snuggled closer to him. "I don't want to... live the past..."

Bobby swallowed hard. He nodded. "Neither do I, but you...loved him. It's...normal to miss him, to feel this, baby."

There had only been a few times where she had cried for Joe. She didn't cry the night he died, and she didn't cry at the funeral. His mother had called her an unfeeling bitch because she didn't. But she just couldn't. It wasn't until she was at home that night, alone and out of the sight of prying eyes that she was finally able to really let all of her grief and pain out.

Bobby tightened his hold on her. He continued to hold her close, wanting to give her all the comfort and support she needed.

When all her tears were finally gone, she pulled out of his shoulder, rubbing her eyes. The baby was still cuddled in his arm, and she couldn't help but smile at her. That was one part of their lives they had never fulfilled. She had been pregnant once, but she had miscarried and never forgiven herself. It was something she had never told Bobby, a fear that she had never even discussed with him when she was pregnant with Izzy.

Bobby followed her eyes and grinned. "I think we'd both agree that she's the best thing that ever happened to either of us."

She nodded. "She really is."

Bobby kissed her forehead. That was something they had. Something she hadn't had with Joe, and she was almost too afraid to ask her why. He was afraid of the answer.

She tipped her head back and kissed him softly, winding one arm around his neck.

Bobby closed his eyes, groaning softly when the kiss ended. He could never get enough of her. Meeting her eyes, he whispered, "There are...mornings when I...wake up...and see you. I have to...pinch myself to...know it's real... I know how lucky I am."

She noddded, running her fingers through his thick hair. "I do, too."

Bobby swallowed hard. He met her eyes. "Alex, baby, I'm the lucky one."

She shook her head vehemently. "No, I am."

Bobby smirked. "Alright. Fine. We're both lucky. I don't want to fight. I should go get ready."

He laid the baby in her arms, and she reached over and playfully smacked his behind as he walked away from her.

Bobby laughed softly. "You know I'm going to get you back for that." He disappeared into their room.

"I'm so scared," she called after him.

Bobby laughed some more. "Maybe you should be."

"Why? You're about as scary as a wet kitten."

Bobby snorted. He nodded. "Maybe to you..."

"Face it, Goren. You strike fear into no one."

Bobby shook his head. Pulling out clothes, he teased, "I think there are a lot of people at Rikers that would disagree."

"They were faking. You know, like I do."

Bobby shook his head. He glanced at the door. "That was low, Eames. Very low."

"I know, baby." She gently patted her sleeping child's back.

Bobby smiled. He pulled his shirt off. "I'm going to jump in the shower. OK?"

"Okay." She went over to the couch and sat down.

Getting in the shower, Bobby sighed. He tried to wash away the bad memories that always crept at the back of his mind, especially during the holidays. He still missed his mother. He missed his brother, but he had gained so much, and he tried to focus on that. He had what he wanted. He had to hold onto it. Always. After his quick shower, he changed into his clothes.

"See? You do clean up nice," Alex teased with a gleam in her eye as he came out of the bedroom.

Bobby grinned. Moving to her, he kissed her passionately. He pulled back and met her eyes. "I'm glad you think so."

She licked her lips, looking dazed.

Bobby smiled again. He stood up straight. "Is the pie done yet?"

"Pie...?"

Bobby smirked. He nodded. "Yeah. The pumpkin pie you put in the oven for us to take over...?"

"Oh, yeah..." She blinked. "A few more minutes."

Bobby grinned. "Good." He reached out and stroked her cheek. "I love you."

She leaned into his hand. "Love you, too."

Bobby's eyes fluttered close. He had never been happier. He stood up and looked down at her. "I'll check on it." He gave her a small smile. Oh yeah. There was nothing fake about that. He disappeared into the kitchen.

She leaned back into the couch, sighing deeply.

Checking the pie, he smiled. She was right. Just a few more minutes. Moving back out to the den, he sat down beside her. "You're right. It should be just a few more minutes."

She leaned into him, cuddling into his side.

Bobby smiled, wrapping an arm around her. He kissed the top of her head. He really was happy. He was happier than he had been at any other time in his life.

Izzy stirred and yawned, then settled back into sleep.

Bobby smiled at their young daughter. She looked so peaceful. He could watch her for hours.

She rested her head on his shoulder. "She's going to sleep through the next few hours."

Bobby nodded in agreement. "Yeah, she is, as long as no one does anything to wake her up."

She snorted. "Like it's going to be completely quiet."

Bobby smiled. "I know, but she'll probably sleep through at least most of it."

"I hope."

Bobby gave her a soft smile. He admitted, "Me too."

"But she probably won't."

Bobby snorted. "Probably not. She sleeps like me."

"Sometimes."

Bobby raised his eyebrows. "Most of the time."

"Sometimes."

Bobby snickered. "Fine. Fine. Sometimes." He closed his eyes and leaned back. He didn't want to argue with her today.

She snuggled closer to him, content and warm.

With a soft sigh, Bobby stroked her arm. He was happy and content. He was relaxed. He had a lot of days like that now, and he attributed them all to Alex.

She held Izzy closer, smiling down at the baby.

His eyes, still closed, Bobby smiled. "She's comfortable."

"She's very comfortable."

Bobby nodded. "She loves us..." He stroked her arm.

"Very much." She used her free hand to stroke his side.

Bobby sighed again. He ventured, "You know what I'd like?"

"What?"

Bobby smirked and admitted, "I think I'd like another one..."

She looked at him, surprised. "Another baby?"

Bobby lifted his head and met her eyes. "Yes. I mean, maybe not today, but yes..."

Slowly she smiled. "I want another one, too."

Bobby kissed her gently. "Good." He loved their daughter. He loved everything about her. He loved everything that was already so obviously Alex. He wanted that again. He wanted a second baby. A second child that so obviously reminded him of her.

"Maybe a boy..." The thought of a little boy with big brown eyes and a soft voice made her heart jump hard.

Bobby smiled. "Or another girl. One that looks just like you."

"Or like you."

Bobby snorted. He kissed her. "The more any child we have gets from you, the better."

"See, I think completely the opposite."

Bobby laughed softly. "Of course you do."

She gave him a little roll of her eyes. "Yes, I do."

Bobby smiled just a little more. "You know, if you let me start thinking about everything I could pass on to our child, I can talk myself right out of wanting to take those risks." It would kill him to see their child suffer because of his horrible genes.

"But you've already done it."

Bobby looked down at Izzy. "I...know, and I'm always going to worry."

His mother's illness, the evil dark blight that was his father. He never wanted any of it to touch his children.

She nodded, understanding. She couldn't deny that there was a small part of her that always feared the illness that he could pass on to their child.

Bobby sighed softly. "We...won't even know for...many years, if I even have passed it on." He'd never forgive himself if he did pass it on.

"But you don't have it."

Bobby swallowed hard. "That doesn't mean I haven't...given it to her or wouldn't give it to any other children we have."

"But the chances are a hell of a lot less."

Bobby nodded. He sighed, admitting, "You're right. The chances are less, but not gone. My mother... I was seven when she started to show symptoms of the disease. She was thirty-two."

"And you're a young forty two," she teased lightly.

Bobby snickered. He shook his head. "I wish." He gave her a small kiss.

She smiled against his lips. "You'll always be forty two to me, baby."

Bobby laughed softly. He shook his head and scoffed, "I'm sure."

"You will."

Bobby gave her a small smile. He nodded. "That's sweet and not true."

"It is," she protested.

Bobby blushed just a little. He looked away from her. "I've already got so many lines and my hair is going completely gray."

She reached out and cupped his cheek in her hand, shaking her head. "I wouldn't care if all of your hair fell out. I'm not in love with your hair. I love you."

Bobby smiled. "I love you, too, and I think it's a good thing you're not in love with my hair." He kissed her.

She ran the tip of her tongue along his bottom lip, teasing.

Bobby opened his mouth just a little, kissing her deeply. He could never get enough of her.

The timer went off for the pie, and she groaned. "Damn it..."

Bobby smiled. He pulled away from her. "I'll get the pie. You have the baby."

"Okay." She pulled back, allowing Bobby to get up.

Bobby gave her one last quick kiss. He got up and moved to the kitchen. He pulled the pie out and set it aside to cool.

She watched him, rubbing the baby's back. "My family will be really happy to see us."

Bobby looked over at her and smiled. "I'm sure, so they can all play with her."

"Yeah..."

Bobby moved to her and Izzy. He reached out and stroked the baby's head. "I never thought I could love anyone as much as I love her."

She smiled up at him. "I know. It's amazing, isn't it?"

Bobby grinned, meeting her eyes. "Yeah, it is. Overwhelming sometimes..."

"She's amazing..." She studied the sleeping child in her arms.

Bobby smiled. He nodded. "Yes, she is. She's beautiful...and fascinating. I could watch her all day."

"So could I." She kissed the baby's soft head.

Bobby smiled. "I'll grab something to put the pie in, and then we can go." He reluctantly stepped away from Alex and Izzy.

"I'll get her diaperbag and a jacket."

Bobby nodded. He looked at her, giving her a small smile. "Okay..." He gave her a quick kiss. He moved to the cabinet and found what he was looking for.

She went into the nursery and found the baby's diaperbag and jacket, then went back into the living room to find her own jacket.

Moving into the living room with the pie, he smiled. He couldn't help himself. He smiled every time he saw the two of them. He moved to them. He kissed Izzy's forehead. He looked at Alex. "Here. Let me have her so you can put your jacket on..."

She handed him the baby, then grabbed her jacket and pulled it on.

Bobby smiled. Holding the jacket, he put the pie down carefully. He then slipped the jacket on Izzy. He held her close, kissing the top of her head. "There we go..."

Alex smirked when she saw that the baby had slept through all of this. She zipped her jacket up. "Told you she sleeps like me."

Bobby laughed softly. He carefully handed the baby to Alex. "You're right. They probably would." He slipped his jacket on as he followed her out to the car. He carefully put the pie and whipped cream somewhere they wouldn't slide around.

She set the baby in her carseat, buckling her in carefully before she placed a kiss on her soft baby head.

Bobby smiled at the baby. She was still sound asleep. Closing the door, he looked at Alex. He couldn't believe how lucky he was. Giving Alex another smile, he slipped into the car and waited for her to get in.

She got into the driver's side, grabbing Bobby's hand and squeezing it tightly. As they pulled away, she couldn't help letting out a sigh of relief. Maybe finally this time they were leaving behind those demons, those pains. Maybe it wouldn't hurt so badly to think about Joe, and maybe she'll think of how one night pushed them together. Not how one night she had nearly lost him forever.

Maybe.

The End

A/N: Well, I know. That took long enough. LOL. And we're working on a Christmas oneshot. Woot. Only eight days to go...


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